The question of whether to have sex during pregnancy is one that comes up time and time again, in all kinds of ways, for all kinds of reasons.
The simple fact is that sex during pregnancy is perfectly acceptable, and despite the doubts that men and women may have, there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that it presents any danger to mother or baby.
But of course one of things that you might want to do is to actually enjoy better sex by using some of the techniques that you can find described here.
It appears that in the case of any one couple, the drive of one partner can be considered excessive only with relation to the drive of the other partner and not with relation to any established norm, which, I repeat, is non-existent.
“The case where the wife’s desire is greater than the husband’s is more difficult of solution than the converse. It is obvious that when the husband desires intercourse more frequently than the wife, a truly loving wife can easily gratify the husband’s desire without necessarily feeling that she must achieve orgasm.
The converse is not true, simply because the husband cannot always achieve erection unless lie feels desire. “There are other ways, however, of resolving the situation. First of all, the wife can explore carefully the background of why she has what seems to her husband greater desire than his. She may find that, as she explores, her desires become somewhat modified because she may discover that she is using this desire to prove something, to win a point or for some other reason.
“The husband may, out of his love and desire for happiness of the wife, re-examine his own background carefully and honestly. He may find that it is perhaps a puritanical or repressed upbringing that is preventing him from feeling free to enjoy sexual intercourse as often as his wife. In any case, he might also, by caresses, both manual and oral, gratify his wife’s desire on occasions when he himself feels none.”
As I have said, there are a good many cases in which the problem expresses itself the other way around, that is where the husband’s sexual demands exceed the desires of his wife.
This is a letter I received stating this aspect of the problem, along with excerpts of my reply: “I am married and have a problem in sexual relations with my husband. I think it might break us up or make our marriage unhappy. We have been married four years and my husband still feels that every night we should have intercourse. When I try to talk to him about giving me a chance to want him, he tells me that would be too long a wait.”
One of the most difficult things in marriage is to adjust the sexual desires of the two people involved. There is no such thing as ‘too much’ or ‘too little’ because each person feels differently at different times. It will help if your husband understands that most of the time, a woman is slower to develop her desire than a man.
You might therefore work out the following kind of compromise: If your husband desires intercourse every night, why not? There is no reason why you and he should feel that you must respond to him every single time. There is no reason why, when you do not feel particularly responsive, that you should not indicate this to him, but at the same time indicate your pleasure at giving him pleasure. Thus, he would have intercourse with you knowing that although you might not be achieving orgasm, he would be free to enjoy his contact with you completely.
On the other hand, whenever you indicated the need for it, he could show great consideration and love for you by prolonging the preliminary love-making, perhaps as much as half an hour or an hour, at least until you indicated whether or not you were aroused. A woman generally can tell whether she is going to be aroused sufficiently to achieve orgasm. If after a sufficient time has elapsed you feel you are not going to have orgasm, you can indicate this to him and he can proceed at his own pace.
There is no reason for a woman to have orgasm every time. Furthermore, your husband should realize that you are in the age range where sexual desire is somewhat less high. Contrary to the man, who has his sexual peak in the early twenties, there is lower sexual desire in the woman at this age. She is likely to reach her peak in the late thirties or early forties and then continue at quite a high level, sexually, through menopause and into the sixties.
Both you and your husband need to remember, too, that you, the wife, must not only take care of the children, but of the home as well. This is the difference between you and the other women your husband has mentioned. Whatever his knowledge of them, it was on a sexual basis only and not on a husband-and-wife basis. Over a period of years, the husband- and-wife relationship becomes far deeper and contains far greater satisfactions than mere transitory sexual activity….”
If you think there is just one position to enjoy while you’re pregnant, think again!
The only rule about sex positions during pregnancy is that there are no rules: what you do depends only on what you want to do……and all you need is a willingness to try new things if your familiar sex positions aren’t working for you while you’re pregnant. To that end, what you need to think about are some simple guidelines.
Make sure that you’re both physically comfortable, because the added weight and bump on the woman’s abdomen during pregnancy can make it difficult to enjoy man on top sex, for example. All you need to do is find the sex positions which please the woman and please the man; on this website we have pages of photographs that illustrate exactly what you can do with a bit of creativity and imagination while you’re pregnant.
First of all, the edge of the bed sex position is a rather good one because the woman can lie on her side or on her back on the edge of the bed while her partner stands between her legs, or on his knees between her legs if he’s giving her oral pleasure.
All you have to do is find a position in which you can manoeuvre so that your body is aligned to allow easy and comfortable penetration.
Bear in mind that it’s not necessarily great idea for woman to lie on her back for too long during pregnancy.
Spooning is very comfortable sex position because there’s no pressure on the woman’s abdomen, and the man can get easy entry into her vagina.
There is plenty of opportunity for lots of movement, and the man can orientate himself behind his partner in a way that makes penetration most comfortable for both when he enters his partner. If you try this, don’t lie on your right hand side.
Side-by-side facing each other is another popular sex position during pregnancy, but you have to keep your bodies apart to accommodate the bump. Even so, as long as you can meet at the genitals, that’s good be a very good position to enjoy great sex.
And lastly, the rear entry sex position is very good for G spot stimulation and because it’s a position that you probably don’t use that often, it can be fun, giving you a bit of novelty and extra stimulation in ways that you’re not necessarily accustomed to during your lovemaking.
Of all the issues that can come up in a relationship, sex during pregnancy can be one of the most challenging.
But if you allow yourself to be guided by your desires, and you enjoy good communication as a couple, openly expressing your likes and dislikes, your hopes and fears, you’ll find that sex at this time can be just as enjoyable, comforting, reassuring, and orgasmic as it is at any other.
If you want to check out the best positions for sex during pregnancy right now, click on the links at the top of this page.
The basic questions women and men ask are: “Can I still have sex?” or “For how long during pregnancy can we have sex?”
Happily, you can continue making love for just as long as you and your partner are happy to enjoy sex – even up to the birth if you wish.
By the way, orgasms are good for you all, baby included, who shares your orgasm-induced endorphins and will feel your contentment. Sex can also keep a couple tightly bonded during a woman’s pregnancy, and that helps ensure a peaceful, happy enviroment for the baby when she or he arrives.
There are very few reasons to avoid sex during pregnancy. These are: any signs of bleeding; preterm labor; any sexually transmitted infection; or your doctor telling you not to make love for some reason. (Make sure you find out why!)
And even where there are spots of bleeding, which is the most common reason doctors suggest avoiding sex at this time, lovemaking is rarely off the menu for more than a week or two.
The next most common question is about sex positions during pregnancy. A big belly does mean it’s harder to enjoy sex. And that’s what this website is all about.
Well, what sex positions are best for pregnant women and their partners? Are you having trouble knowing what’s best?
You just have to be a bit more creative! For example, even if you like the idea of missionary or man on top sex during pregnancy, it simply may not be possible because of the woman’s big belly.
(It’s also important to remember that most experts don’t recommend a woman sleeps on her back during pregnancy.)
But the good news is there are loads of alternatives. Try some of these pregnant sex positions:
Woman on top sex positions
This gives you control over the depth of penetration and the speed and rhythm of the sexual dance. Fast or slow, woman on top works really well for the whole of your pregnancy right up to the very end.
Spooning is a well known position, one which works best if the man is behind the woman and entering her between her thighs from behind.
This position creates no pressure on his partner’s bump, and gives shallow penetration. Many women like the position because it’s very relaxing for sex during pregnancy – and it will keep you going right to the end of your pregnancy.
Rear entry is of course excellent, because there’s no pressure on the abdomen, although the woman might want to rest her abdomen on the bed.
There can sometimes be a bit of a height difference between the man and the woman, but with creative use of pillows or cushions under her belly or his feet, sex is always possible one way or another!
And those sex positions have another advantage – stimulation of the woman’s clitoris by either the man or the woman is really easy. As always, this will increase the chances of having an orgasm.
Ah yes: orgasms. Well, we said it above, and we’ll say it again: orgasms are good for you all, baby included, but they can be different during pregnancy. You might have more, or you might have fewer; they might be stronger, they might be weaker.
And some women even become orgasmic for the first time during pregnancy because of increased hormones, or more fluid in the tissue around the clitoris and vagina making them more sexually sensitive. Other women may experience multiple orgasms for the first time.
During orgasm, you may feel minor contractions of the uterus, but this is not preterm labor – unless the cramping sensation or contractions last for longer than an hour, in which case you should see a doctor.
But while your orgasms will bathe you all in a glorious sense of endorphin-induced bliss, towards the end you may find you don’t get full relief of sexual tension when you come – and, believe it or not, you may actually still feel sexually frustrated, even after multiple orgasms. But of course it’s all worth it…..and there are alternatives…..
Masturbation is a great way to release sexual energy if one or both of you doesn’t want full sexual intercourse. It’s a simple way for one partner to satisfy the other. It’s also fun to enjoy mutual masturbation if neither of you want penetration.
What of oral sex? Just enjoy it as normal, seems to be the rule. Even if the vulva is more moist than usual, a quick wash before sex will ensure it’s always a pleasurable experience. Indeed, oral sex can be a very good way to pleasure a pregnant woman; it’s particularly useful for a pregnant couple who have some anxiety around intercourse or who just don’t fancy it.
It’s a topic that everyone wonders about, but few are willing to actually discuss: sex during pregnancy. While some people have safety concerns, worrying that it will be dangerous to the baby, others simply feel that it’s too taboo. The body hang-ups experienced by pregnant women may also prevent them from engaging in sex.
Sometimes, sex actually can be dangerous to a woman and her unborn child. However, her doctor will advise her about this. If the doctor feels that there is a risk, he or she may prohibit the patient from having sex or even experiencing orgasm. In the case that there are other complications, such as a history of miscarriages or other difficulties, bleeding, the woman’s water has broken, or either of the couple has an active sexually transmitted infection, a doctor should be consulted prior to sex.
Most women, however, are lucky enough not to have these complications. For these women, sex during pregnancy is very safe and enjoyable. Because of their increased hormones and blood flow to their genitals, some women even experience their first sex-induced orgasms and have multi-orgasmic experiences.
Sometimes, though, pregnant women worry about their appearance. They may feel large, puffy, and bloated, and this might put them off of sex. However, they are often surprised to find that their partners find them more attractive than ever. The combination of that legendary pregnant ‘glow’, swollen breasts, and growing belly are extremely sexy to men. Communication between the couple will help to overcome any barriers and insecurities.
Some other insecurities experienced by pregnant women have to do with the nausea that they experience, the exhaustion that they feel, and uncertainty regarding taboos. Discussing these things will also help. If necessary, a counselor can help mediate these discussions.
If the couple still isn’t sure about having sex, they have other options to fall back on. Massage and cuddling are sure to be appreciated by the pregnant woman, and a relaxing bath will be a sensual experience for both. Kissing and mutual masturbation are also ways to satisfy without going ‘all the way.’
If a couple decides that they are ready to try pregnant sex, they may find that they need to get creative. Even the most basic positions may prove too uncomfortable with a pregnant belly in the way. Missionary, for instance, is probably not going to work, as women feel uncomfortable and men often worry that they’re hurting the baby. Woman on top is a good option, as are positions with the man penetrating the woman from behind. Spooning is popular, and can be extremely enjoyable for the woman, while allowing her to relax and not exert herself too much.
For a couple in love, sex during pregnancy can be both enjoyable and increase intimacy. However, many couples are too worried about a variety of factors to engage in sex. Fortunately, almost every couple can start having great sex once again as long as they consult their doctor, talk openly about their options, and are willing to get creative.